Saturday, April 11, 2015
Progressives think we are children
It is no wonder the weather has been bad down here. The Blessed One, Maker of Rainbows and Giver of Light was in Jamaica. May He return to us soon and bring back the Sun that shines out His Ass. (PB&J Be Upon Him)
Posted by Ernesto at 4/11/2015 03:54:00 PM
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
A Walmart security guard spotted Taylor Davis, 20, in the infants' department of the Walmart on Vineland Road Tuesday evening, listening to headphones and touching his joystick through a hole he cut inside his black hooded sweatshirt, records show.
Davis saw a woman he thought was attractive and started following her around, he later told a deputy sheriff.
It is a little known fact that public masturbation has been socially acceptable in Florida since 1513 when Ponce de Leon began his search for the Templar Wanker Well, previously known as the Fountain of Youth. Bearing this in mind, Osceola County sheriff charged Davis with Having Sex With The Only Person You Really Love.
The parents of this disturbed young man refused to comment to our Florida reporter. We did learn, from a neighbor, that the Davis family dog ran away out of sheer shame and disgust.
Posted by Ernesto at 4/07/2015 11:39:00 AM
Saturday, December 27, 2014
This year I tried something different. I baked a cake for Jesus. I like to cook but I don't do cakes and it was real pain. By the time the cake was completed, I was exhausted and decided to sit in the recliner and have a drink to rest. Hours later, when I woke up with a headache, I found the empty bourbon bottle on the floor and the cake was half eaten.
I blame Jesus for that.
Posted by Ernesto at 12/27/2014 09:36:00 AM
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
"It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are."
Posted by Ernesto at 10/21/2014 08:08:00 AM