Saturday, April 11, 2015

The Cult of Obama Worship continues...literally.

Progressives think we are children

It is no wonder the weather has been bad down here. The Blessed One, Maker of Rainbows and Giver of Light was in Jamaica. May He return to us soon and bring back the Sun that shines out His Ass. (PB&J Be Upon Him)

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Another reason to avoid Walmart and Florida

Taylor Davis

An Orlando man is accused of masturbating in a Kissimmee Walmart, damaging property with his bodily fluids, and following around a woman while listening to audio pornography, court records show.

 A Walmart security guard spotted Taylor Davis, 20, in the infants' department of the Walmart on Vineland Road Tuesday evening, listening to headphones and touching his joystick through a hole he cut inside his black hooded sweatshirt, records show.

Davis saw a woman he thought was attractive and started following her around, he later told a deputy sheriff.

It is a little known fact that public masturbation has been socially acceptable in Florida since 1513 when Ponce de Leon began his search for the Templar Wanker Well, previously known as the Fountain of Youth. Bearing this in mind, Osceola County sheriff charged Davis with Having Sex With The Only Person You Really Love.

The parents of this disturbed young man refused to comment to our Florida reporter. We did learn, from a neighbor, that the Davis family dog ran away out of sheer shame and disgust.

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Christmas 2014

This year I tried something different. I baked a cake for Jesus. I like to cook but I don't do cakes and it was real pain. By the time the cake was completed, I was exhausted and decided to sit in the recliner and have a drink to rest. Hours later, when I woke up with a headache, I found the empty bourbon bottle on the floor and the cake was half eaten.

I blame Jesus for that.