Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Obama: Uncle Ho + Jefferson = BFF

Obama's revisionist views of our history
Last week when Barack Obama met with Truong Tan Sang, the president of Vietnam,  the pair publicly shared this lie: 

Obama: " And we discussed the fact that Ho Chi Minh was actually inspired by the U.S. Declaration of Independence and Constitution, and the words of Thomas Jefferson."

Please take a few seconds to re-read this quote.

In a Refried Confusion exclusive, Obama's further remarks are as follows:

"Ho Chi Minh and myself have much in common. We both love puppies (in a nice wine reduction)."

This lie has never been perpetuated by any American President and is disgusting.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

The Greatest Civil Rights Issue of the 21st Century

All this time I thought we were becoming more tolerant

My Fellow Americans,

It is with great sorrow and angst that I assist in bringing this issue to the light of day. I cringe in endless shame at the thought that somehow I did not see this problem coming. What could I have done different to eradicate the evil thrust upon my brethren?

Even Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson did not see this on the racial horizon.

Yes, it's true....the porn industry is racist !!!

Such is the enlightened position taken by Keli Goff in her blog, The Root:

"In an age in which multiracial families are among the fastest growing in the nation, it is hard to fathom that there is a national industry, $10 billion strong, in which interracial couplings are considered career suicide. It seems that the historical taboo of black men sleeping with white women is one sexual hang-up that even the porn industry is unwilling to get over."

On behalf of the entire human race, I wish to thank Ms. Goff for shining the Light of Justice into an otherwise dark corner of oppressive cracker history.

I implore you to write Obama and demand that white female porn stars be lawfully required to entertain black dong in every instance of porn.

Write Obama here.

God Bless America

Friday, July 19, 2013

Next Months Rolling Stone's Cover


Sky News reports that one of the terrorist murder suspects, 28-year-old Michael Adebolajo of Essex, pictured above, was attacked in London’s Belmarsh prison.

Adebolajo apparently lost his two front teeth in the Wednesday attack, the BBC reported.

The crude prison dental procedure of  removing the front teeth will facilitate the insertion of cylindrical objects into the mouth of the suspect.


Thursday, July 18, 2013

Trailer Park Dinner Theater - Episode 1

Love that neck tat, Neola
A 62-year-old widow has been charged with murder after her long-missing husband was found buried in the front yard of their rural North Texas home.
Neola Robinson is charged in the death of her husband Ervin Robinson, who was reported missing by his employer in May 2010.
Lonny Haschel, a spokesman for the Texas Department of Public Safety, says Texas Rangers arrested Robinson on Saturday. The arrest took place after authorities exhumed the husband's remains Tuesday from the yard of their mobile home in Pelican Bay, about 20 miles northwest of Fort Worth.
This whole saga exemplifies Bad Form in so many ways we just don't know where to begin.
First of all, the story is somewhat misleading. The dead husband was not really missing if SHE knew where he was the whole time, right?
Then there the issue of a burial in the front yard. This reeks of inexperience because it is common knowledge that nobody buries relatives in the front yard...well, not any more.
Even without the involvement of law enforcement, it was just a matter of time before she had a sub-grade plumbing leak and poor Ervin was discovered by the Rooter-Rooter guy.
Some white people just have too many problems.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Woman killed by iphone 5 - Refried Confusion launches new app

The Mesquite 2.11 Beta

U.S. electronics giant Apple is investigating reports in China that a woman died after being electrocuted while trying to make a call with her iPhone 5 while it was charging.
Ma Ailun, a flight attendant with China Southern Airlines, was picking up her handset to answer a call last Thursday when she received an electric shock, police said Sunday, in reports carried by the state-run Xinhua news agency.
In further Tech News, the Refried Confusion IT Department is proud to announce our first iphone app.
The new app, ZZZZZT, will allow for searing small steaks right on your iphone!
We loaned out one of the Mesquite 2.11units to Robert K., for field testing. His comments and observations are as follows:
" I wanted to start out small so I warmed up a sausage biscuit, I found under the seat of my truck. The morsel was warm in 37 seconds but those burned carpet fibers ruined the
whole experience for me.
That same night I cooked a ribeye on my phone, using ZZZZT. I really liked the grill marks and the mesquite taste was pronounced, yet subtle, with just a hint of an ozone finish. I highly recommend this product.
The app works faster if you stand in a tub of water but it gave me a headache."
Just have another beer, Robert.

Monday, July 15, 2013

How did I miss National Take Your Dog to Work Day?

SAN ANTONIO (AP) — A pooch has helped police catch a South Texas burglary suspect after the man took the dog along and the animal growled at officers seeking the pair.
San Antonio police arrested the man after a Mexican restaurant break-in and theft early Monday. His dog has been turned over to animal control officials.
Store surveillance video shows the man and his dog inside the business. The suspect allegedly stole money from a jukebox.
The video shows the man and his dog leaving the store. A burglar alarm summoned officers.
Police say the pair allegedly hid in some nearby bushes until the dog gave away their location by growling at approaching officers.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Cat people: An endangered species ?

Bad kitty
Just when you thought things could not get any worse, a new scientific study comes along and shatters your world.
A study out this month in the journal Trends in Parasitology argues that Toxoplasma gondii, a parasite that may infect cat poop (turds), has long been known to be a health threat . According to the report, more than 1.2 million metric tons of cat feces are deposited in the United States every year. If inhaled, by humans, the parasite can cause such as brain problems, schizophrenia, neurosis and brain cancer. The parasite has also been linked to suicide.
In response to this revelation Kathleen Sebelius Secretary of Health and Human Services just announced Obamacare will be expanded, to the tune of $2.56 billion, to include a program entitled "Don't Eat That Shit" (DETS).
Refried Confusion contacted Ms. Sebeluis to question the need for this huge expenditure. She replied, "Stupid ignorant people are the backbone of our voting block. We must insure that they remain healthy enough to continue breeding. To insure this goal, we must educate the public to refrain from eating, snorting or otherwise ingesting turds, regardless of their species of origin."

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Celebrate America

Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty.
Ronald Reagan