How did I miss National Take Your Dog to Work Day?

 

 

 

 

SAN ANTONIO (AP) — A pooch has helped police catch a South Texas burglary suspect after the man took the dog along and the animal growled at officers seeking the pair.

 

San Antonio police arrested the man after a Mexican restaurant break-in and theft early Monday. His dog has been turned over to animal control officials.

 

Store surveillance video shows the man and his dog inside the business. The suspect allegedly stole money from a jukebox.

 

The video shows the man and his dog leaving the store. A burglar alarm summoned officers.

 

Police say the pair allegedly hid in some nearby bushes until the dog gave away their location by growling at approaching officers.

Cat people: An endangered species ?

 

Bad kitty

 

 

 

 

Just when you thought things could not get any worse, a new scientific study comes along and shatters your world.

 

A study out this month in the journal Trends in Parasitology argues that Toxoplasma gondii, a parasite that may infect cat poop (turds), has long been known to be a health threat . According to the report, more than 1.2 million metric tons of cat feces are deposited in the United States every year. If inhaled, by humans, the parasite can cause such as brain problems, schizophrenia, neurosis and brain cancer. The parasite has also been linked to suicide.

 

In response to this revelation Kathleen Sebelius Secretary of Health and Human Services just announced Obamacare will be expanded, to the tune of $2.56 billion, to include a program entitled "Don't Eat That Shit" (DETS).

 

Refried Confusion contacted Ms. Sebeluis to question the need for this huge expenditure. She replied, "Stupid ignorant people are the backbone of our voting block. We must insure that they remain healthy enough to continue breeding. To insure this goal, we must educate the public to refrain from eating, snorting or otherwise ingesting turds, regardless of their species of origin."

 

 

 

 

 



Celebrate America

 

 

 

 

Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty.

 

 

 

Ronald Reagan 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Utah Man Finds Bigfoot Skull

 

 

 

 

 

A man in Ogden, Utah named Todd May believes he's in possession of fossilized Bigfoot skull. May, a semi-retired” private investigator, discovered the "skull" near the mouth of Ogden Canyon about 6 weeks ago while looking for fossils. According to one paleontologist who examined the "fossil", the Sasquatch skull looks just like a rock.

We could no resist talking with this man. Below is transcription of our short phone interview with Mr. May:

Ernesto: We really appreciate you taking the time to speak with us.

Todd May: It’s my pleasure.

Ernesto: Tell us, Todd, how does one go about searching for proof of Bigfoot?

Todd May: Well, to tell the truth, I wasn't looking for Bigfoot when I made this discovery.

Ernesto: What were you looking for?

Todd May: The Muffin Man.

Ernesto: I’m not sure I heard you correctly…can you speak up, please?

Todd May: The Muffin Man, The Muffin Man.

Ernesto: The Muffin Man????

Todd May: Do you know the Muffin Man?

Ernesto: Who lives in Drury Lane?

Todd May: Exactly.

Ernesto: What inspires you to begin such searches?

Todd May: I smoke hydro and read The Book of Mormon.

Ernesto: Really?

Todd May: Pinkie swear.

Ernesto: That’s……..interesting, Todd.

Todd May: Do you any more questions?

Ernesto: No, you’ve said enough already, Todd.

 

 

 

 

 

 



Dead Bee Memorial Service in Oregon

WILSONVILLE, OREGON

Fifty thousand bumblebees will be honored in a memorial this weekend at the Wilsonville Target where a majority of the insects died. State officials directly linked the die-off to trees that had been sprayed with the insecticide Safari. 

Rozzell Medina, of Portland, said that the event will "memorialize these fallen lifeforms." 

Refried Confusion contacted Mr. Medina to inquire how the number of dead bees was determined. "We counted their legs and then divided by six", he proudly stated.

A replica of the memorial monument pictured above will be installed in the Target parking lot with a plaque honoring some of the more prominent fallen members such as: Albert Nectar, Ruth "Buzzy" Pollenson, Marty Stinger, Rupert Bumble, Juan Pointyass, Larry Hives, "Queenie" McTavish, Robert "Honey" Combs, the Swarm brothers, etc.

This reporter has not been able to determine if this will be a closed casket ceremony.

The event is scheduled for 2 p.m. Sunday. We regret we will be unable to attend the services.

...

 

 

We express our appreciation to several commenters on The Oregonian website who provided much of the tasteless material re-posted here.

The Great Half-White Father

 

 

Billboard in Northern Colorado

 

 

 

Remember the United States Postal Service

 

Remember Amtrak

 

Remember The Alamo

 

 



Cindy Sheehan in Texas Protesting Bush Library and Lawnmower Repair Shops

 

Cindy sucks up to Hugo

 

 

 

Cindy Sheehan is back in Texas on a whirlwind protest tour. Sheehan and her group Special People Eschew War (SPEW) have gathered about 50 protesters across the highway from the George W. Bush Presidential Center, in Dallas, where she says she's protesting both Bush and his successor in the oval office. In addition, the collection of "activists" will serve as pre-event entertainment for the gathering of dignitaries.

 

Sheehan is well known for her visit to Hugo Chavez in January of 2006 and her refusal to pay the IRS for back taxes for the years 2005 and 2006. This woman is indeed a true patriot.

 

Refried Confusion caught up with Cindy at the Greyhound Bus Station in downtown Dallas, where she is sleeping on a bench, for an interview. We asked Sheehan about her plans for the immediate future. "It was the dying wish of Comrade Hugo Chavez that I travel to Montgomery County to protest at the world headquarters of South County Small Engine Repair to call attention to the Imperialist Gun-Toting Pig who operates this establishment. Sean Penn told me he would be there too."

 

Her truth is marching on...and on.