Utah Man Finds Bigfoot Skull

 

 

 

 

 

A man in Ogden, Utah named Todd May believes he's in possession of fossilized Bigfoot skull. May, a semi-retired” private investigator, discovered the "skull" near the mouth of Ogden Canyon about 6 weeks ago while looking for fossils. According to one paleontologist who examined the "fossil", the Sasquatch skull looks just like a rock.

We could no resist talking with this man. Below is transcription of our short phone interview with Mr. May:

Ernesto: We really appreciate you taking the time to speak with us.

Todd May: It’s my pleasure.

Ernesto: Tell us, Todd, how does one go about searching for proof of Bigfoot?

Todd May: Well, to tell the truth, I wasn't looking for Bigfoot when I made this discovery.

Ernesto: What were you looking for?

Todd May: The Muffin Man.

Ernesto: I’m not sure I heard you correctly…can you speak up, please?

Todd May: The Muffin Man, The Muffin Man.

Ernesto: The Muffin Man????

Todd May: Do you know the Muffin Man?

Ernesto: Who lives in Drury Lane?

Todd May: Exactly.

Ernesto: What inspires you to begin such searches?

Todd May: I smoke hydro and read The Book of Mormon.

Ernesto: Really?

Todd May: Pinkie swear.

Ernesto: That’s……..interesting, Todd.

Todd May: Do you any more questions?

Ernesto: No, you’ve said enough already, Todd.

 

 

 

 

 

 



Dead Bee Memorial Service in Oregon

WILSONVILLE, OREGON

Fifty thousand bumblebees will be honored in a memorial this weekend at the Wilsonville Target where a majority of the insects died. State officials directly linked the die-off to trees that had been sprayed with the insecticide Safari. 

Rozzell Medina, of Portland, said that the event will "memorialize these fallen lifeforms." 

Refried Confusion contacted Mr. Medina to inquire how the number of dead bees was determined. "We counted their legs and then divided by six", he proudly stated.

A replica of the memorial monument pictured above will be installed in the Target parking lot with a plaque honoring some of the more prominent fallen members such as: Albert Nectar, Ruth "Buzzy" Pollenson, Marty Stinger, Rupert Bumble, Juan Pointyass, Larry Hives, "Queenie" McTavish, Robert "Honey" Combs, the Swarm brothers, etc.

This reporter has not been able to determine if this will be a closed casket ceremony.

The event is scheduled for 2 p.m. Sunday. We regret we will be unable to attend the services.

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We express our appreciation to several commenters on The Oregonian website who provided much of the tasteless material re-posted here.

The Great Half-White Father

 

 

Billboard in Northern Colorado

 

 

 

Remember the United States Postal Service

 

Remember Amtrak

 

Remember The Alamo

 

 



Cindy Sheehan in Texas Protesting Bush Library and Lawnmower Repair Shops

 

Cindy sucks up to Hugo

 

 

 

Cindy Sheehan is back in Texas on a whirlwind protest tour. Sheehan and her group Special People Eschew War (SPEW) have gathered about 50 protesters across the highway from the George W. Bush Presidential Center, in Dallas, where she says she's protesting both Bush and his successor in the oval office. In addition, the collection of "activists" will serve as pre-event entertainment for the gathering of dignitaries.

 

Sheehan is well known for her visit to Hugo Chavez in January of 2006 and her refusal to pay the IRS for back taxes for the years 2005 and 2006. This woman is indeed a true patriot.

 

Refried Confusion caught up with Cindy at the Greyhound Bus Station in downtown Dallas, where she is sleeping on a bench, for an interview. We asked Sheehan about her plans for the immediate future. "It was the dying wish of Comrade Hugo Chavez that I travel to Montgomery County to protest at the world headquarters of South County Small Engine Repair to call attention to the Imperialist Gun-Toting Pig who operates this establishment. Sean Penn told me he would be there too."

 

Her truth is marching on...and on.

 

 





Obama Bans Assault Handle Sauce Pans

Weapon of sauce destruction

 

 

In a bold move which has devastated the culinary world, the Obama administration has called for an all out ban on all existing assault handle equipped cooking devices.

 

White House spokesman, Jay Carney, recently announced that television chef Rachel Ray will be coming to all residences to confiscate these now illegal pans.

 

All citizens are strongly urged to register their Camo Crock Pots with the ATF. You were warned.

 



Pope Francis: Texas Relic is "the real deal"

 

 

The Skivvies of Dobbin

 

Montgomery County, Texas

March 28, 2013

 

An unidentified retired insurance adjuster was digging a hole in a rural area of southeast Texas when he uncovered a metal chest which contained what locals are referring to as, "The Last Underwear of Jesus."

 

The man, who refuses to be identified, told Refried Confusion,  " I was digging a hole in the woods to hide my guns and ammo from Obama when I found this metal chest. I had to bang on it real hard with the bumper of an old Dodge truck laying close by. When I got it open, I found an old piece of paper and them there undergarments. I truly believe this to be the Lost Skivvies which was deposited here (Dobbin, TX) by them Templars who was running from those damned frogs (French). It's a (expletive deleted) miracle."

 

When we asked the gentleman about his plans for the "relic", he responded, "Well, the holy undies will be on display at the next gun show in Conroe."

 

We will report further on this bizarre discovery.

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

Every child is a precious snowflake...Really ??

Charter Member of Generation Cupcake

David Fabrizio, principal of Ipswich Middle School, Ipswich, Mass., notified parents of his plan to eliminate the school's Honors Night last week.

"The Honors Night, which can be a great sense of pride for the recipients' families, can also be devastating to a child who has worked extremely hard in a difficult class but who, despite growth, has not been able to maintain a high grade point average," Fabrizio penned in his first letter to parents.

Fabrizio also said he decided to make the change because academic success can be influenced by the amount of support a student receives at home and not all students receive the same level of emotional and academic support at home.

Refried Confusion contacted Principal Fabrizio this morning to inquire about his reasoning behind this decision. Fabrizio cited a recent study which, he claims, revealed that Attila the Hun, Adolph Hitler and Timothy McVeigh were all traumatized because they had no animals to bring to school on Pet Day.  "Some hugs and a few cupcakes could have saved millions of lives" quipped Fabrizio.

The Pussification of America is alive and well in New England.